Image: H.L. is a third-year student at the University of Minnesota and has struggled with disordered eating for years with little help. They took time off last semester due to mental health-related issues, but reenrolled this semester and enjoy getting coffee with friends at new coffee shops around the Twin Cities. (Shannon Brault)
What people struggling with eating disorders wish their peers knew
By: Shannon Brault
One person dies every 52 minutes from the complications of an eating disorder. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, it’s one of the deadliest mental illnesses, second only to opioid overdoses.
Even for students at the University of Minnesota who have been through treatment for eating disorders or disordered eating, ordinary campus life can often be a silent struggle. “AccessU: More than Stress” spoke with three such people on the Twin Cities campus who agreed to share their experiences. At their request, we identify them by their initials.
The stigma of silence
Y.H., a first-year political science major who has been placed “on watch” for anorexia by medical professionals in the past, said the dining hall was a particular trigger for her as she adjusted to life on campus.
Campus dining is difficult for many students who struggle with disordered eating and who may have no choice but to eat their meals in common settings with others who do not understand their situation, she and others say. The environment, they say, magnifies a wider stigma surrounding eating disorders, mainly in the way that such topics are discussed–or rather, not discussed at all.
“I definitely think there is stigma, especially because no one talks about eating disorders much on campus,” Y.H. said. “I don’t know a specific place where I can go to talk to anyone about these things or even if those exist.”
J.S., a first-year student majoring in English and economics, was diagnosed with anorexia during her freshman year of high school. She has since recovered from the eating disorder, but is reluctant to say so since recovery has many definitions depending on whom you ask.
She also believes the lack of conversation around the illness is what leads to a culture of stigma that shames those with eating disorders.
This silence extends to the lack of campus resources explicitly for students with eating disorders or disordered eating. Boynton does not treat eating disorders, but instead refers students to outside treatment facilities, such as The Emily Program or the Melrose Center.
The few resources that are available often rely on euphemisms rather than stating the illness directly. For example, a six-week Boynton support group for disordered eating is called “When Food is Complicated.” By contrast, Pennsylvania State University runs a support program called “Eating Disorder Recovery Process Groups.” Penn State also offers individual medical evaluation and treatment through their university health services, individual nutrition evaluation and treatment through their clinic, individual and group therapy options and case management support to help students with referrals, insurance and other things needed for further outside treatment.
J.S. said she would love to have similar resources available through Boynton. “I definitely wish there was some sort of support system on campus, because as far as I know there is virtually zero help for eating disorders specifically,” she said. “I think the lack of resources available is what makes people think it’s not a big issue.”
Casual, toxic narratives
For those experiencing eating disorder symptoms or in active recovery from them, being surrounded by people who perpetuate common food-related narratives–skipping meals, being too busy to eat, only snacking–can be extremely difficult.
“It’s normalized that you skip meals, or you only snack or you’re too busy to go to lunch and I feel like that’s what makes it really, really hard,” J.S. said when speaking about how she manages her relationship with food on campus. “That’s what really gets me when my friends or people around me make really weird comments about it or make comments that sound like something that I would have said in the past.”
J.S. also thinks party culture plays into harmful eating disorder normalization on college campuses. H.L., a third-year English major who has struggled with a binge eating disorder for over a decade, agrees. This is particularly true on the Twin Cities campus, they said.
“Eating disorder culture is very normalized in college, but especially at the University of Minnesota when you combine that with drinking and people who aren’t as financially stable,” H.L. said.
H.L. said they’ve seen students use not eating as a “money-saving technique” or as a way to get drunk faster at bars and parties. Both J.S. and H.L. said this was difficult to be around while trying to recover from an eating disorder or stay in recovery.
Misunderstood disorder
All three students said there are things they wish the student body, their peers and university staff and faculty understood about eating disorders.
“I wish people knew the severity of it,” J.S. said. “It’s marketed in movies as kind of this funny thing that is only for upper-middle-class white girls that have body image issues, and people kind of trivialize it because of that and say, ‘Well that’s really vain of you to be hurting yourself for beauty.’”
While the exact cause of eating disorders is unknown, some people are more likely to develop eating disorders than others based on genetics and certain traits, according to the Mayo Clinic.
What J.S. wants most is for people to understand that her brain fundamentally works differently, and that her disorder is not about aesthetics. “It’s an actual mental health issue that severely affects people and affects how I live my daily life,” she said.
H.L. echoes that frustration. “I just wish that they understood it was a thing and that it’s real and it’s not a choice,” they said. “But that is kind of the stigma with all illnesses and disorders that coincide with self-harm behavior. It’s looked at as a choice when it really is not.”
Knowing what works, struggling to find it
Y.H. said she wishes she could find support in one place on campus instead of looking in several places, not all of which are easily accessible in the eyes of students on campus. “I have looked for resources or where this is supported, but still haven’t found any clear resource options,” she said.
She explained that being Black and having immigrant parents has also added stigma to her situation. “Growing up, this was not normalized for me. I never learned the right way to deal with things like this,” she said.
Others agree the campus resources don’t provide what they need: structure and responsiveness when disordered eating becomes an issue for them.
J.S. said a big part of recovering her relationship with food is structure, which she has found in support systems of friends who eat meals with her at consistent times and who check in with her when she is struggling.
The only resources she knows of on campus to support students who don’t need full-on eating disorder treatment are limited therapy options through Boynton, but her therapy could get cut off when she needs it the most.
“With how my brain works and with how eating disorders work, it tends to be in the moment. It’s hard to say, ‘OK I’m struggling right now, let me book an appointment for a month out from now’ because then I might not need it anymore,” she said.
For more information on eating disorders or to find resources, visit the following:
Twin Cities Resources
UMN Resources
Boynton Support Group, “When Food is Complicated”
Online Resources:
National Eating Disorder Association
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
WithAll (nonprofit, scholarships available for assistance during treatment)