Ian Rodriguez and Zane Perren are transmasculine, queer and in love. Rodriguez is a fourth-year computer science student at the University of Minnesota, and Perren is a barista at a West St. Paul coffee shop.
Rodriguez: “I was just starting testosterone when I started dating him, and Zane had already been on testosterone on and off for six months. It was nice to be able to share that transition with someone who knew what I was going through, because it very much is a second puberty. You’re moody, you break out, there’s shit happening to your body that nobody warns you about. And it was just so nice to be able to talk to somebody who knew what was going on.”
Perren: “I had a cis partner before Ian for a very, very short time — just because there was always a disconnect. I very quickly learned that there is, unfortunately, a large majority of queer and gay men who almost fetishize trans men. At least that was my situation. And so it’s that being able to relate and understand exactly what we were going through.”
Rodriguez: “I think, also, there’s almost this rigidity that’s expected, like, ‘Oh, you’re trans masculine. So you’re a man.’ I think with Zane, he and I have both had a lot more freedom to be transmasculine, but neither one of us expects the other to just be a ‘man’ the same way that I think can happen with cis people, where they’re of a binary gender and so they expect that you are as well. There’s been a freedom in exploring my femininity that I don’t think I would have had with a cis partner. There’s been a freedom to be, sort of, more fluid with my gender. Because, you know, there are some days when I just want to look pretty, and I know when Zane calls me pretty, he’s calling me a pretty boy. And I don’t have to worry that he’s secretly seeing me as a woman, which is definitely a fear that I think a lot of trans people feel in cis relationships. Because there’s just this disconnect.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Interview conducted by Noor Adwan.