Victoria, also known as Vix, who did not wish to use a last name, is a fourth-year elementary education major and Asian and Middle Eastern studies minor with a focus on Japanese. She identifies as transfeminine, pansexual and polyamorous, and is an active member of the Queer Student Cultural Center and GSC Book Club.
“There’s been a lot of times where my wife and I have just been laying in bed and talking about our identities and how we’re expressing that in specific ways. Now that she’s living out of her house she’s experiencing a lot of feelings that she’s not really used to because she’s now in a completely safe place where she’s not feeling judged. She feels like her brain is being broken, in a sense, and it just feels very very nice to be able to work with her on that and kind of explore our identities together. I’ve been through a lot of the stuff she has, so it just feels nice. I can’t piece her brain back together or give her her identity – outside of giving her some of my jackets – but it’s still really nice to share with her.
I especially appreciate the times recently I’ve been able to just feel physical affection with the people that I love without any expectations or judgments based on my physical body. Just like the feeling of one’s body against another in various ways without attributing things besides safety, warmth and joy to one’s body, which is nice.
When I finally started transitioning I felt like I could actually feel things again. I started reaching out and engaging with the community a lot more. I felt like I could experience love in a bunch of different forms, whether it’s sexual, romantic, or just whatever the heck.
The year I started transitioning, I met my wife, I had my first actual sexual experience, I started dating multiple people just to see what that was like and created a community of my own sort of navigating through that. There’s all these different aspects of being a queer person and I wanted to explore that. I felt like that was kind of a part of me, but I didn’t really know how to work with it. Then I started to just explore those parts of me and throw caution to the wind a little bit, and so far it’s worked really well.
I feel like me. I have a bunch of loving and supportive and great people in my life now, and it just feels really nice and authentic. I’m sure sometimes things will go wrong, but for the most part this is just going great.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Interview conducted by Sommer Wagen.