Image: New Jersey native Emma Morris is a third-year Journalism student at the University of Minnesota. (Courtesy of Emma Morris)
Emma Morris is a third-year student majoring in journalism. She is diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD.
“ADHD is technically a learning disability. So it does make it harder to do school; paying attention in class, getting homework done, those types of tasks. Because even though as much as you love being a journalism major, [or] whatever major you’re in, your classes can be exciting, [but] sometimes just getting the work done can be hard. And then, [with] anxiety, it’s like a double-edged sword; because with ADHD, sometimes it can be really hard to get started on work, and when you’re writing a really long paper, [you will] have the whole thing outlined, but just getting those first words on the page is the hardest part. Then with anxiety, it’s like, if you don’t do this, you’re a failure … if I don’t submit all these papers and get the best grades of my life, I’m not going to be a journalist, I’m just gonna be living with my parents for the rest of my life. So [anxiety] definitely affects my drive, but in a different aspect than ADHD … It makes me thrive off of academic validation, as much as I hate it. Also, presentations and stuff sometimes can be a little stressful — as much as I love talking to people and talking to crowds, and interviewing people, because that’s what I want to do with my life — it’s still stressful because in that school environment, you don’t know what the people around you know. Sometimes I feel like everyone else in the room is smarter than me or they know what they’re talking about much more than I do. So that definitely is an aspect of it.
With ADHD… instead of school tasks, it can [also affect] home tasks, like doing laundry, doing dishes, taking care of yourself… anxiety can be a lot more of that, like, ‘Why is everyone looking at me like? Why am I getting stressed at the grocery store for no reason?’ It’s super overwhelming. Both [anxiety and ADHD] can cause you to feel super overwhelmed pretty easily. Or in busy situations, I tend to get overstimulated really easily. Also, with ADHD, sometimes I’ll start chit-chatting with my friends and just go on and on and on, and they’ll just stop listening, and that kind of hurts… but I’m in a relationship and my partner is super aware of the fact that I have anxiety, and she does all that she can to quell any negative or anxious thoughts I have about our relationship, because she knows it’s just the anxiety talking and not actually me texting her, ‘Do you still like me?’ It’s like, of course, she still likes me… but it definitely affects that. And [with] friendships, I kind of have to have that validation a lot that I need my friends to rally around me and be like, ‘No, we still like you. We’re still friends with you.’ But funny enough, [my anxiety] doesn’t affect me when I have to do stuff like ask someone at the grocery store something… my parents, they will refuse to ask people that work at the grocery store for help, but I’ll go and ask them; I don’t have problems with that. It’s kind of interesting how it can differ by home and school life.
[Things that help me manage mental health are] gentle encouragement and taking some time for myself; be still, have my cup of coffee and enjoy a slow routine in the morning if it’s been a really stressful, anxious week. But also, having routines is super important to me, because with ADHD and anxiety, if stuff piles up, it’s kind of hard to dig yourself out of that hole. Even if you don’t have any sort of mental illness, if you let your dishes pile up, it can be hard to start doing them all at once, you know. So kind of sticking to routines, having those habits, my morning routine; even if I don’t get up at the same time every day, just having that set [list of things to do], like, this is what you’re having for breakfast, then you’re gonna go to the gym, or whatever. Also, exercise is super important to me, [because] yes, I exercise to be physically fit, but I also exercise to be like mentally fit. Releasing those endorphins is super helpful, even if I don’t realize it at the moment. I might be running five or six miles and be like, ‘I hate this’ the whole time, but then after you do get that runner’s high, and it’s like, ‘Dang, I really needed this, I had a really stressful week.’ Also, with ADHD, even if I’m super fatigued and tired, I still have that energy that’s in my body that I need to burn off, so if I don’t exercise, I can feel pretty restless. So exercising — even if it’s just going for a walk, it doesn’t have to be a full workout routine — helps burn off that energy, so I can just wind down and have that nighttime routine as well.
If you have [a mental health] issue, or you think you might be dealing with something, if you can, reach out to someone that can help you with that… because it’s better to get help while you’re ahead. Personally for me, it wasn’t until I got to college and did my first semester and realized, ‘Something might be wrong, I’m not doing great.’ And if I didn’t wait, I could have probably had a better first semester of college… If you can’t afford [to get professional support], the U does have resources… and they’re not great, but they’re still something. A lot of places do have free counseling or free options for things, or just whatever groups you’re in, talk to those that are willing to listen. I go to a church event once a week and there’s a pastor there that’s willing to listen, and they might not be able to diagnose you or help you or anything, but they’re an ear that’s willing to listen to you.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Interview conducted by Holly Gilvary.