Image: Roselin Victor poses for a photo in her car on a sunny day. (Courtesy of Roselin Victor)
Roselin Victor–a third-year student at the University of Minnesota majoring in global studies with an emphasis on human rights and justice in South Asia, and minoring in political science and Spanish– has struggled with her mental health since before she came to college.
“I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and then, within that, adjustment disorder, and that’s like the majority. I’ve had symptoms for like, a long time. I just didn’t really seek out help. And then I didn’t actually– well, I went to a Student Counseling Services here for an intake, but I didn’t really like it. So I didn’t actually get diagnosed till August of 2020.
I met with one therapist there to do an intake or whatever, and then I basically explained my symptoms and stuff, and when she was just like, ‘Oh, you sound sad,’ and I was like, okay.
A lot of my symptoms are tied within my personal culture, because I’m Indian. And like the stuff she was saying like, ‘Oh, like, you should, try to get your parents to get a divorce,’ and it was more of me explaining my culture than like my actual symptoms, I guess. I just didn’t like it.
I feel like they just weren’t culturally sensitive. The first step of going and getting help is like one of the hardest and then to go and then to have to re-explain basic stuff that they just don’t and can’t really empathize with is really hard. And then obviously, I think when I went they were extremely backed up too, so that didn’t help much because it took a while for me to get an appointment. And then even after my appointment, the therapist was like, ‘ Oh, I can’t help you because like, I don’t have time,’ and so then there was really no point in going because the next step was like, they sent me a list of super expensive therapists near the campus. And then I would have had to redo the intake anyway, so it was kind of just a waste of time.
I would say it’s really hard sometimes to wake up, go to class. And then on top of that, like, when classes are heavily graded on participation, I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to public speaking and things like that. Especially at the beginning of the semester, I always find myself struggling with participating in classes. But then I got a [Disability Resource Center] accommodation letter, so this year, and I feel like that has helped with communicating that with my professors.
I like to read which helps. I also like to, I don’t know if this is like a healthy coping skill, but I like to sleep a lot when my symptoms are affecting me a lot, so that helps. But obviously with school and stuff, you can’t always sleep as much as you want. And then when I was at home for COVID-19, I would go on drives a lot.”
The above has been edited for clarity and length.
Interviewed by Bel Moran